You've got a friend in me
by Amora Risa
Summary: Woody is having a hard time with Andy growing up, but Jessie knows exactly how he feels after her past with Emily...
1. Chapter 1

"Um... Jessie?" the space ranger hesitantly called her, standing right behind her and Bullseye.

She turned around to face him, her red hair still floating magically in the air, exactly like the first time he laid eyes upon her.

"Hey! How you doin', Buzz?" she asked in a joyful mood while caressing her dearest horse.

"I... eh... I'm fine. Thanks" he stuttered. "I was wondering if maybe I could speak to you alone for a moment".

That was strange. Buzz would never, NEVER, initiate their conversations, unless it was something extremely important. And he wanted them to be alone? Jessie began suspecting a couple of reasons why he'd want to talk to her, but she didn't let her mind dwell on it much.

"Sure" she replied, curious and confused.

The two of them headed to the window, the most isolated place in Andy's bedroom and the best spot for a private conversation. Jessie thought she heard Mr. Potato Head whistling as she and Buzz passed by him, but she just ignored him.

Buzz offered to help her get on the desk. Jessie of course could have easily managed on her own, but she eagerly gave him her hand.

From up there they could see the whole bedroom. And suddenly a realization hit Jessie; it was rather empty. Not that there were not posters or action figures or medals or a huge mess on Andy's desk, but what about toys? Sure, Wheezy, Rex, Slinky and many others were still there, but then again so many others were gone.

She made the thought go away. Now the moments outside of the toy box were rare and few and she didn't want to spoil them with feelings full of misery.

Jessie always loved windows. She enjoyed the view, gazing at the few stars that were visible at the long nights, admiring how the environment changed throughout the seasons, watching all the people passing by, each one with a unique story that she tried to guess... But most importantly, she enjoyed sitting by the window with friends. Ever since she sat with Woody on Al's apartment, and when she and Bo Peep used to have their girl talks up there, and when she and Bullseye would paint on the blurry glass during winter, she with her fingers and Bullseyewith his moose, and more recently when she and Buzz would hang out there.

"What is it, Buzz?" she asked him worried by his nervous expression.

Buzz did not answer immediately, but when he did it was with a clear and decisive voice.

"It's about Woody".

Jessie's look then found him across the room, on Andy's bed, sitting by himself, going through some papers, probably lists he had made about room affairs and other stuff she had always found boring.

"We've gotta help him" he continued. "He needs us".

"I've noticed he's more quiet the last few weeks. You know, since Andy put him in the toy box..."

"I tried to talk with him, but whenever I brought up Andy he always had an excuse to avoid the conversation or change the topic".

"He sure is the kind of person that closes to himself during hard times" noticed the cowgirl.

"I confess I have no idea what else to do. I don't know what to say, what he needs to hear. Bo would always be the one who'd get him to talk and express his feelings".

"She always knew just what to say, didn't she?" Jessie smiled remembering her friend. "He's not the same since she left. And I don't think he ever will be".

"And now that Andy's growing up, it's only getting worse. That's why I came to you".

"What do you mean? What can I do?"

"Jessie..." Buzz took a huge breath and took a step closer to her, "you know what's it like. You've experienced it before. Watching your kid grow up, being played with less and less, being tossed aside..."

Jessie's expression suddenly became melancholic and sad. Buzz had just touched a deep wound that she didn't think it would ever be healed. Her eyes stopped looking at his and dropped to the floor.

"Right now, you are the only in here that knows exactly what he's going through, that really gets him" he added.

"I guess so".

"Maybe you should go talk to him" he suggested.

"I don't know, Buzz" she replied while tugging her braid in an anxious manner. "I don't think I am-"

"Jessie, I know it is difficult for you to open up about Emily" he interrupted her, and at the sound of her name she felt an extra weight in her stomach, "but I know you are very brave. The bravest toy I've ever met".

His words soothed her worried spirit.

"Besides, it will do you both good" he continued. "Talking about Emily will help you too. You don't have to keep it inside you".

"The truth is... that this matter is on my mind more than usual lately" she admitted. "But I don't want to bother Woody with my problems, he's already had enough".

"You won't bother him. All the more, I think he'll feel better when he hears that other toys have gone through all that he's facing right now. But I won't pressure you any further. I feel that you are going through a difficult phase right now. Actually, all of us are. We might not be Andy's favorites, but we are his toys too. And it hurts to watch him forgetting about us".

"It sure does" Jessie sighed. "I mean, I knew of course that this moment was going to come, but now it's here already, and I didn't even realize how quickly the time went by! It still seems like it was yesterday when you rescued me from the airplane and you brought me here... And when you were calling me 'miss'" she teased him.

"I was just trying to be polite!" he quickly defended himself, his cheeks almost as red as her hat.

"That you did" she laughed. "Or should I say you overdid?"

"Hey, what is this doing there?" Buzz pointed at Mr. Potato Head's ear behind them.

"What? Eavesdropping is not nice at all!" Jessie yelled annoyed while grabbing the ear and throwing down to its owner.

"I've got no idea how that thing got up there!" Mr. Potato Head complained dramatically.

"Oh, I can't believe him!" the cowgirl murmured.

"Eh... Jessie? I just wanted you to know that, even though you might have been on your own under Emily's bed, this time you are not alone. And if you ever need someone to talk... well, we are all here for you... Woody, Slinky, Rex... Ham..."

"Yes?" she urged him to continue.

"And... well, me. I'm here" he declared shyly. "You don't ever have to be alone again".

"Thanks, Buzz!" she replied with a warm smile. "And thanks for telling me about Woody. I'll go talk to him, you were right. Woody was always there for me. He is the one who brought me here, to this wonderful new family. It's the least I can do in return. He really needs this" she said and turned to look at him across the room.

"Thank you" Buzz said quietly.

"No, thank you! Things are always better after talking with you. You are a great friend" she said before giving him a quick kiss in the cheek. "We'd better go now, Andy will be home soon".

"I... eh... yes, sure!" Buzz said returning from la la land. "Look at the time! We have to return to the box".

"Do you mind if I sit next to you? It's always better for me to have someone close when I am inside a box in the dark".

"Sure" he answered, trying not to explode.

Jessie smiled as she was walking away, before Buzz stopped her.

"Wait! Just one more thing". He looked like something was eating him. "What is it like?" he dared ask.

"What?"

"You know... Being a child's favorite. How does it feel?"

He was genually asking.

Jessie's mind filled with memories of her and Emily. The first time she ever held her, their picnics under the big tree, the dives in the pile of leafs, the hugs, the tears... All those things Woody knew exactly how they made one toy feel. All those things he really missed right now.

Jessie closed her eyes and managed to utter just one word in response to what Buzz had asked:

"Wonderful".


	2. Chapter 2

The door closed.

Jessie always liked having Andy around and hearing his voice, but lately she preferred it when he was at school, so she could get out of the box and see some light finally.

All the toys scattered around. Well, the few of them who were left. Jessie would usually spend her mornings riding Bullseye, but now she had a very important thing to do: find Woody.

She didn't have to search for long.

He was alone in Andy's bed. That was always his spot. It didn't matter that Andy had placed him inside the chest a few weeks ago, Woody would always belong up there.

While she took a few deep breaths and gathered the courage to go up there, she felt a warm hand in her shoulder.

"Again, thanks for doing this" Buzz's voice sounded behind her. "I hope it goes well".

Jessie turned around and tried to smile at him.

"I hope so too" she whispered and glanced over at the sheriff with a worried look. "Though I'm not the best at this kind of stuff. I don't even know what to say!"

"Just tell him what you'd like to tell yourself if you could turn back in time to when you were alone under Emily's bed. Or at least, remember how it felt. Remember all your thoughts and fears. And tell him that. It doesn't have to be an advice, just a reassurance that he's not alone and that you can relate to how he's feeling".

"I'll try, Buzz. It is painful for me too. Couldn't sleep last night" she admitted. "But I know that you believe in me and that gave me more reason to believe in myself. And just so you know, you are a great friend for Woody. I hope I can be too".

"You already are".

"Just, please, step in if something happens" Jessie begged him, because they both remembered that Woody had a few outbursts of anger lately.

"I've got you" he gently squeezed her hand.

Now Jessie knew she had to go, because otherwise she could spend the whole morning with Buzz and lose the opportunity to talk to Woody. She thanked him and was on her way.

She climbed to the bed. God, she had forgotten how it was up there! It had been a while.

Woody didn't notice her. He was busy with some papers.

_"Probably more boring organization affairs" _Jessie thought as she approached him.

Maybe this was wrong. She should leave him alone with his leadership stuff. He was obviously working on something and it wouldn't be right to distract him.

No, Buzz was looking at her. He encouraged her with a thumbs up and she returned the gesture. It was too late to back down. Besides, Jessie was brave! She could do this!

"Hello, Woody!" she greeted him cheerfully with a loud tone that surprised him.

"Hello to you too" he replied without looking away from his papers.

"It's a fine day today! Isn't it? Not a single cloud at the sky!" she sat beside him.

"Is there something I can help you with, Jessie?" he ignored her remarks on the weather.

"Must I need my friend's help to come and see him?"

"No, of course not. I just can't see the reason you bothered climbing up there just for me. Especially now that I have work to do".

"Well… I… Um…" she stuttered, "The view is really nice up here! You can see the whole room! And I love bouncing on the bed! Remember when we used to do this all the time when Bullseye and I first came over here? Bullseye had never been on top of a bed! Remember?"

"Hm" he nodded, still concentrated on his precious papers.

"Wanna do it again? It'll be fun!" she nudged him with her elbow. "No doubt, more fun than your paperwork".

"Please, Jessie, it's important" he cut her off, obviously annoyed but trying to keep it cool. "Why don't you go find Bullseye, or Buzz, or… anyone but me?"

"No, it's fine. I guess I'll just sit right here. Perfectly still and quiet. Promise. You can keep doing whatever it is you're doing".

Buzz was right. Woody didn't need someone to cheer him up, like she was trying to do. He just wanted to get things off of his chest, talk to someone about how he felt.

_"Jessie, cut the chit-chatting and get to the point!" _she ordered herself.

'RESCUE PLANS' Jessie's sneaky look managed to read over his shoulder on the paper he was holding. And on the second page: 'ROOM POPULATION OVER THE YEARS / FREQUENCY OF CENSUS'. And one paper a bit further from him read: 'BATTERY CHECKS / LIST OF SUPPLIES IN CASE OF EMERGENT TRANSPORT IN THE ATTIC', and at the centre of the page a diagram showing Andy's playtime duration through the years.

_"That seems like a lot of hard work" _Jessie thought, certain she would never keep the room in order.

"I was wondering if I could help you" she broke the silence and her promise to stay quiet.

Woody gave her a confused look.

"With the paperwork, I mean!" she hastily added.

"Thanks, I appreciate it, but I think I'll finish sooner if I handle it alone".

"You know…" she moved closer to him, "you don't have to face everything alone. You know that, right? You've got friends who can help you".

The sheriff froze.

"Are we still talking about paperwork?" he hesitantly asked.

"Yeah, of course!" she lied, not sure how to approach him.

"Jessie, don't waste my time. Please, tell me what you want" he said, tired.

"Nothing! It's just that… You know, Buzz and I talked the other day…"

She left the sentence there hanging, without knowing how to continue. Deadly silence was all over the place for a few good seconds.

"Yeah… And?" Woody questioned. "I already know you two talk a lot lately. Everyone's noticed. Where are you going with this?"

"Oh, nothing! Just… um…"

It was no easy confessing that they worried about him.

"Listen" Woody sighed, losing his patience, "if you want dating advice, I'm not really—"

"Whoa! No, no!" she interrupted him shocked. "That's not at all what I was… No! Nothing like that! Why would you say that?"

Woody rolled his eyes.

"No reason. Now can you please tell me what you need me for, because in case you haven't noticed I'm quite busy".

"Yeah, sure! Just Buzz and I noticed that you seem a bit off lately".

That was a strange way to put it.

"A bit off as in…" Woody urged her to explain further.

_"Jessie, say it! Come on, you can do this!" _she thought to herself. _"Tell him everything in 1, 2, 3…"_

"Woody, you don't talk much, you sit by yourself and you have this melancholic expression on your face lately. And I think all this weird behavior started when Andy took you from his desk and put you inside the box".

Woody still kept his eyes to his papers. But he was obviously not reading. Just staring. Petrified. And for a moment, Jessie wondered if he had actually heard her.

"Woody?" the cowgirl tried to get his attention.

"Well, thanks for the concern, but I'm just tired, that's all. You can go back to your space ranger and give him a report. Now, can I please be left alone to continue my work?"

Jessie hesitated to speak. She didn't want to make him mad and start a fight. Maybe it was better to leave and keep a peaceful environment in the room. Everyone had their problems, she couldn't add Woody's yelling and more tension.

Or maybe that was the perfect opportunity to let all that tension out once and for all.

"It would be easier to leave, but I won't. I always respected your personal space and the right to keep things to yourself, but today is not one of those days! You _will _tell me how you feel, because that's what I'm here for and I won't accept anything less! That's what friends do and I'm not allowing you to not let me be your friend! I won't stand there watching you become more miserable every day, okay? This has to stop now. I'm not leaving until we have an honest discussion about your feelings" she declared more confidently than ever.

"What? What do you want to hear?" he raised his tone. "What would change if I said anything? Would it make you happier to know that you are right? That you guessed correct? Well, congratulations, you and Buzz win! Now can you leave? I've had enough! All the looks and the whispers behind my back… Yeah, Andy put me in the toy box. And it felt really bad. Now I'm just a normal toy like you and everyone else. Is that what you want to hear?"

"No, I don't want to hear you shouting, I want you to talk to me about how you really feel".

"So the problem is my tone? I'm sorry but it's hard to keep calm when you can't get your nose out of my business!" his voice was really frustrated.

"Maybe it's my business too. And don't shout to me like that! Just tell me what's wrong with you!"

"What's wrong with me? Everything! My whole life I've been Andy's toy. That's the only thing I know, the only thing I can do! And now this is taken away from me, each day more and more. And if I don't have this… well, then who am I?"

That was Woody's final outburst. He couldn't say anything else, he had reached his break point. He sat down, turning his back on Jessie, covering his face with his hands, breathing fast.

Jessie had never seen him like that. Helpless, empty.

She was looking at him and she knew exactly what she was seeing: her own self back when she was under Emily's bed.

She stepped closer and sat down beside him. She had a lot to say but she just wanted to sit there for a while. Let only her presence soothe him. _Sometimes, _she thought, _that's all that is needed._

When she eventually spoke, her voice was warm, almost too quiet to be heard.

"I felt the same way with Emily. Like you have no purpose anymore, no identity".

She didn't know if he was going to yell back at her or tell her to go away. He didn't. He just said:

"Yeah, exactly".

She moved closer to him.

"Emily was my whole world too. My first kid, just like you and Andy. I'll never forget our moments together. Sometimes I miss her too much. And even my body is in pain. I don't sleep well. I try to be quiet when I cry, I don't want to wake up the rest of you".

"I miss him too, Jessie" he admitted broken.

"You must realize how lucky you are".

"Lucky? Jessie, he hasn't even touched me for weeks, except to put me in the box!"

"But you still get to see him. You hear his voice. You can climb up here in the bed and smell his pillow and feel him. You see him grow up, you learn about the stuff he does in his life, and you can feel proud about him. Maybe there will be a day when you'll no longer have this. So, yes, you are lucky. Enjoy it. Don't let your misery and your sadness ruin these moments, they are important. He may not be playing with you, but you are here. You don't know what I would give to have that with Emily again, even for just one day. Just to see her, learn that she's well".

"I… I never thought of it this way. It must be really difficult, not even knowing where she is in the world".

"I know where she is".

Woody's expression immediately got curious.

"She is right here" Jessie pointed to her heart. "And she's never leaving, come what may. Yes, she hurt me. I know it wasn't her fault. She was just growing up, like every kid eventually does. But it still seemed hard to hear her talking to her friends and putting on her fancy make up and letting me suffer alone with all that dust under her bed. I was really angry at her at times! Mad actually. I shouldn't, but that was how I was feeling".

"Yeah, I totally see that. It's not easy watching your kid ignoring you. It's unfair and painful. It makes you mad".

"But you could never hate them, could you?"

"No, of course not" he said with a deep, gentle voice, his eyes shining brightly.

"And deep down, you know your kid still loves you. It is difficult for them to show it when they reach a certain age, but we must try to understand them. They are confused themselves! They don't know why their lives are changing so much. They are scared, Woody. They are becoming adults, and they don't know what's that like. I once heard Emily talk on the phone with one of her classmates about that. God, she was terrified! I wanted to cry. I just wished she could grab me and play with me one more time and then she'd forget all of her problems. But it doesn't work like this anymore".

"You are not enough. You can't make him happy like you used to. And if you can't do that… well, what are you supposed to do? What is the point of your existence? I can't understand, Jessie! What should I do in my life if I don't have him anymore?"

He asked like he was in desperate need of an answer.

"You don't have to define yourself solely by bringing joy to Andy. There's so much more about you" Jessie looked kindly in the eye. "You are a good leader. You care about us and you work really hard to keep an order in the room. You are creative, you always figure out the best rescue plans and strategies. You always put others first, you never leave anyone behind. And you love kids, more than any toy I've met. You'd do anything for them".

"Well, what good will that do to me now? I don't have a kid anymore".

"Don't say that, you'll always have Andy. And you'll always be a great person, regardless of Andy. I used to think that I was only what Emily saw in me. Brave, fun to be around, daring, fearless! And yet when I was left on that box I was full of fear! The point is, you define who you are. Not Andy, not Emily, not anyone. And if your kid doesn't play with you any more, that means nothing about your value. It was a hard lesson for me. At first, all I ever wanted to be was what Emily thought of me. And then I lost that. And I needed someone to tell me who I should be. And Stinky Pete said I should be a display at a museum. And at the time it sounded nice. I finally had a purpose, I would fulfill something! But then you came along. And you know what you did?"

"I blamed you for the TV incident and yelled at you for no reason?"

Jessie chuckled. She would always laugh whenever he brought that up.

"Besides that. You offered me a choice. You said I could come with you. And suddenly my life wasn't a one-way road, I could choose to be whatever I wanted! And since I came here I've learned that my identity is not just Emily's toy, or Andy's toy. I'm part of a family. I'm a friend. Your friend. And no matter if I ever get played with again in my life, I'll never lose that. And you'll never lose me. Remember what Buzz says? To infinity and beyond. That's how far we'll go".

"Well, toys get separated too, you know" he added and Jessie knew exactly who was in his mind. "Even though they want to be there for each other forever, they still do".

It was sudden and spontaneous. Jessie couldn't help but hug him. Not like the time she first saw him on Al's apartment, playfully and enthusiastically, dragging him around. No, it was a deep, warm embrace.

"I know that" she whispered in his ear, her face on his shoulder. "But wanna hear a secret? Something Emily's mom told her after her father passed away. When you really love someone, you never lose them. Your love and the hope that you'll meet again fill your heart. And even though as toys we don't have a heart, I believe it applies to us too".

Woody held her tighter.

"You think I'll ever see her again?" he dared ask, his voice trembling.

"Yes, because I know that love is stronger than whatever the future may bring".

They stayed there like that for a few more minutes. And Jessie could feel that Woody really needed a hug. But so did she.

"I realize I don't know how to talk to you like she did, Woody, but I really hope you are better now that we've talked about it".

"Um, I guess you are not completely horrible" he teased her, but then added with a more honest tone: "Emily was very lucky to have you. And I get that it's still difficult. And by isolating myself, besides harming myself, I didn't give you the opportunity to come and talk to me about it. I'm sorry, Jessie. You can always come to me. You don't have to help me with the paperwork, I'll listen to you anyway". He held by her shoulders and said: "We all have to stay together right now".

"Right, sheriff. And the fact that we now talked about it doesn't mean that it's over. I want you to promise me that you'll come to me when you want to talk about Andy again. That wasn't just one time thing, alright, cowboy? You've got a friend in me".

This time, he was the one who hugged her. Maybe a little bit tighter than she expected, but she didn't mind.

She opened her eyes after a while and noticed Buzz across the room. Now she gave him a big thumbs up. She couldn't see very clearly because of their distance, but she was sure beyond any doubt that he was smiling.

* * *

Woody watches the RV carrying his friends drifting away from the carousel. He stands here with her. And he couldn't be more satisfied. He holds her near to him and it's all perfect.

He finally understands! He understands that he can live without a kid, that he is not defined by Andy or Bonnie. And he chooses to stay. Because he found out what love is about and he's never felt this way before. He was a lonesome cowboy. But not anymore.

"…and beyond" he whispers.


End file.
